Deadshift Chronicles #7

Well, back on the deadshift.... actually going on the third night tonight. And only slept 4 hours today :(  Reason being that my mum was not feeling very well, and even though I went to sleep, I woke up around lunch time to see that she was O.K. After that I did not go back to sleep again as I had to go and get her medication from the pharmacy and also do some hunting. Between that and meeting some friends, whom I have not seen in a while, well by the time I got home it was 21:30. Had a light dinner and headed to the deadshift.

But that's not the bad part, the bad part is that I do not feel like dealing with stupid people's shit or crap from other people because someone else did not do their job properly. In this case, there seem to be a problem with a reservation of a group of people that we have in the hotel and some one did not inform the persons involved. And some one decided not to show up, room cancellation, another person wanted to stay in that room, but that was canceled. The company was supposed to pay, but they wash their hands of the issue. Team leader comes to reception and is angry and demands to speak to the front desk manager on a Sunday morning. Amazing what just not informing the involved parts can get you.... and because of that me and my colleagues will have to hear some yelling. Stupid people, hope they get their shit together and learn how to communicate between themselves before yelling and shouting at other people who do not have anything to do with it and are just doing their job. So much technological advance and they cannot get their crap together... people...

The other day started to watch "Shingeki no Kyojin" (a.k.a Attack on Titan) anime series. It is quite interesting and entertaining, although there are some things in the plot that I find obvious or just pure meh. But it is still a good enough to jump my curiosity to start reading the manga comic, which at some point I will start to buy. At this moment, I finished watching the twelfth episode of the series. I look forward to watching the movie if they ever finish making it.

Also last night, watched the first episode of "Haven". Sadly this series has not been able to catch my interest. But as not to just put it in the discard pile, will watch the second episode...

...more next time...

Entry 03102103 // Bye bye summer

Well, some has come to an end. The weather is still warm, but there are clouds in the sky and it's supposed to rain all day today (still hasn't though).

Last night saw two movies: Pacific Rim and Monsters University.

To tell you the truth, expected a bit more from Monsters University... a bit more comedy and less predictability in the plot, but all together it was an interesting movie. Pacific Rim on the other had could've been way better than it actually was. There are somethings that didn't make sense in the movie as well as the level of predictability in the ending. Apparently they are working on the sequel, so that might actually be more interesting than the first one if they do it properly. I was sort of disappointed that there was no Japanese Jaeger as this mecha-giant monster movie is quite inspired by the movies, series and Japanese animation. But nothing can be done.

On the car news and getting my own place... well, still saving money to be able to get a decent car that won't break down on my long journeys that I plan to take around Europe. And can't find a nice place that I can afford in Barcelona. So on both fronts, the doors are still open.

Apparently, I'm going to be on "vacation" this winter, so trying to figure out somewhere to go to even if it is for a week or two - depending on how much it might cost me (a liver, or arm). And going to try and tie up loose ends on my project so that I can start hunting for financial support.

Also going to do a reboot of my online tshirt store, getting some sales over there, but I could do with some extra cash... well, better go and finish setting up the work station...

Untitled

The breeze made her hair dance to the sound of the waves
She looked she just walked out of a dream
The sun making it seem like she had fire in her hair
A mythical beauty to hard to believe
I looked at her mesmerized
She smiled at me
And said I shouldn't stare
It's not my fault that you're so pretty
She said that I was being silly
She got up and walked to the waves
With every step my heart fealt dizzy
Afraid that she'd just disappear into the sea
Like a mermaid, that she might be
I closed my eyes to stop my head from thinking
Only to be surprised by sand in my hair sinking
Her sweet laughter was like music to my ears
Except that I had sand crawling down my face as if they were tears
Not the first time she played this trick on me
Don't think it will be the last time either
So I get up and chase her as she gets near
And she runs into the sea trying to get away from me
But the sea's on my side and a wave pushes her to me
I hold her in my arms and draw her near
And as she drowns herself in my eyes
I'm transfixed
By her lips
I kiss her and close my eyes
She draws me in as our bodies meet
A huge wave comes and wakes me from this dream
Only to find myself awake beside her
Sleeping with a smile on her face
As if sensing my look
She puts her arm around me
And I close my eyes to enjoy reality

Entry 12092013 // Long post O.o

Well, sort of tired and trying to figure out what the next step in my life is going to be. I mean, sure I could get married according to the wishes of my parents, but I just don't see that happening not to mention that I don't want to. This year I got my driver's license and I was thinking about getting a car, but seeing how the situation is at home and that I don't do much and all the complaints that I've been receiving from my mother about that... which is basically saying that I'm a irresponsible person, I'm between getting a car and getting a place for myself. Not to mention that I want to get laser eye surgery so that I don't have to wear glasses any more. I think it will be easier if I break it down to the conflicts that I'm having at the moment in my head:

Conflict 1 - Car or getting my own place?

So as always, I get something in my head, tell my parents what I plan to do. They say ok, they'll back me up and when I get everything done and just need a small help from them, they put the hold. So with the car it's the same thing, looked up a car got everything ready, except that at the last moment, my mother wouldn't help me sign the papers for the car as I couldn't get it by myself. She also mentioned that if I wanted to get a car, I should get it with my own means, as I never listen to her or do as she says.

I really got pissed off and was really unhappy for a couple of days and this lead me to think that if I was to get a car by myself or by my own means, I should just start living on my own and make my own decisions and take responsibility for my own actions/decisions. That's the moment when I was thinking of getting my own place and starting to take more control of my life and basically stop being a lazy ass piss of shit, depending on other people.

So that's one conflict and I think we know what the decision is going to be on that one...as much as I would love to have a car, I think it would be better for all if I just get my own place.

Conflict 2 - Laser eye surgery vs. travelling vs. work

So this conflict is more about depending on time. When my contract was renewed at work, I had a colleague who was going to fill in for the night shift when I got temporarily laid off - as my contract is a fixed contract but I will only be working when it's high season. But after a month, this colleague left the hotel. So at this moment, I'm not sure if I'll be working this winter or not (I don't think so, as they will have to change my contract again and they really get touchy about that question), but more importantly, I don't know when I'll have this "time off". I asked the director of the hotel and he said that it will either be beginning of November or mid-November, but he's not sure and will get back to me on that one.

I've already contacted a specialist clinic on eye surgery to ask them about the usual - payment, time and to get an appointment to go and ask more questions. But the question still hangs when will I get off work. I'd like to get laser eye surgery so that I don't have to wear glasses but I sort of have not confirmed plans to go places this winter, although seeing as things are going, I'm starting to have my doubts about them. Because the ideal time to get the surgery will be when I get off work but if that is mid-Nov. or end Nov. and I need to have weekly check up or what not for a month, I won't be able to travel. Which is something that I want to do.

On that issue, I talked to a close friend of mine and we sort of agreed that I'd go and spend Christmas and New Year with her, but given that she has some personal issues that she's trying to deal with - I would understand that she'd want to change plans... what I don't understand or get is that, we used to talk almost everyday and I get it that one has their own lives and problems, but now we rarely talk once a week and every time we do, it's just small/short conversation... I don't know if she's just busy or if she's ignoring me. I could be totally misunderstanding the situation here (which I'll bet is what is happening), but there is no way that we can just sit and talk (not to mention that we live far away from each other, which makes this more difficult). I might just go there and knock on her door and ask: what's happening here!?

(I'm willing to bet, it's my stupid brain playing fucking mind games with me again).

Let's get back to getting my own place. According to my mother, the only moment that I can actually get my own place is when I get married (we all know that isn't happening any time soon, as I don't want to and I haven't found the right person to go and get married to - or she doesn't feel the same way, which is basically a big no-fuck-off). But I was talking to my ex-girlfriend, a person that I considered (note past tense) a good friend, and since she was having trouble at home (she's 30 years old, unemployed and lives with her mother but they aren't getting along quite well), and I mentioned that I was thinking of getting my own place, she suggested that if it was okay, that she come and live with me and when she gets a job, we'll share expenses. First, I thought, why not, while I work, she can take care of the house and when she gets a job, we can share the expenses. Yes, I know, I know... she's my ex-gf, what am I thinking? Right? Well, at that moment, I was thinking of helping a friend in need and wasn't looking at the big picture. That is until she told me she was getting back with her 17 year old ex-boyfriend. When she told me that - my brain just did this: what the fuck did I hear? And what the fuck was that!? So going back a bit, this is the same friend that told me that she'll never go back with this kid, because she "realized" that he was a) too young for her and that he wanted and had the right to live and enjoy life and b) he used and hurt her so she was never going to go back to him. Oh and all this she told me crying and me wasting my time comforting her and telling her that it's going to be okay. Well, when she told me that she got back with him, at that very moment I decided that I don't want to live with this person. I mean, this is the same person that rejected job opportunities because "they weren't what she was looking for". Well, I don't want to support some one like that. The other day, we met and she started crying and telling me that she was having a bad time living with her mother and that it wasn't easy and that she needed to get out of there and all that she needed was a job - all I could think of, during all that is: why am I wasting my time having to listen to all this. According to her, I'm the only one that she can talk to about this stuff... I recall she has a boyfriend... why can't she talk to him about this? She complains that she doesn't like it that her mother is paying her for her driving license or for a course that she is taking... and that because her mother is paying her, she'll have to follow her mother's rules... logically since her mother is paying for things and that they share a roof, what her mother says is the law, but you still have the right to do what you want.... but then again, if it's the 7th of Sept and went through what your mother gave you.... what the fuck do you want me to do about it?!

So sadly although she doesn't know about this yet (maybe she will after she reads this... don't really care any more...), I'm not her boyfriend, that I need to put up with her crying in public and listening to her complain about how nobody let's her do anything that she wants and that she doesn't have a job... it's not like it's my fucking fault. And no, I don't want her or am going to even tell her if I get my own place to come and live with me because I find her awfully childish and with no fucking clue of what the fuck she wants in life.

I already have enough problems of my own - trying to find a place to live, getting all my family things in order before I move out, trying to figure out when I'm going to be laid off work and save money to a) get my own place, b) travel, c) get laser eye surgery, d) get a car and e) try and save for when I can open my own company.

So leaving all that behind, we continue...

Ever since I got back from Bangladesh, I sort of have this idea that I'd like to raise my own child. like have my own child and be there every step of the way, and every moment. And confusingly, I'm don't want to be with someone. There is one person, who I can think of with whom I wouldn't mind being in a relationship with, but after all this time, I'm not even sure any more. Sometimes we get the same idea and we have a good friendship, but moving from there into relationship... I mean, if this was a year or two ago, I'd jump in blindly... but now I'm just not sure any more... When my other friends used to ask me if I liked her, I wouldn't hesitate to say yes, but now after all this time, I guess I'm not sure because I don't know how she feels about me or I just know that she doesn't feel the same way as I used to feel for her. Will I ever ask her out again? No idea. Maybe if the situation arises, I might... I guess, I don't have that patience any more to wait and find out. Well, going back to the main point - I've been seeing all these cute kids and children playing and holding their mum or dad's hand while they go shopping and I guess my parenting nature has been awaken, as I'd like to be there to see my son/daughter give he's/her first steps and be able to record them. Or teach them some major life things. Or get up early in the morning, make them breakfast and take them to school... I don't know, I guess I'm ready to be a father except that I don't have anyone to be a father with. Well, life sure knows how to punch you in the gut and keep you looking around every corner just in case, another cheap shot's waiting...

I have several business ventures in my head at this moment, and one of the important ones that I'm working on is the hotel/hostel that I wanted to open. But due to the lack of financial support available at this moment and that I don't think I have anyone's help and that I have to do it on my own. I've decided to change the plan slightly. Instead of opening my own hotel/hostel, which would cost me money that I don't have, I've decided to open a managing company. Instead of opening a new hotel/hostel, the company will rent and run one. This way, it will be able to get experience in running hotels/hostels but also be able to show this experience to future investors or credit companies so that we'll be able to get our own hotel/hostel - which will be turned into the main company headquarters and place of business. I asked a friend to do some research into the matter, but she totally didn't get what I wanted and sort of messed it up - so as the saying goes, you want to do some right, you have to do it yourself - which is what I'll be doing this coming week. Also have a friend who said she'd help me once I set up the company, not sure about that, but will give her a call when I actually have something to call for, but at least until then, she gives me some feedback on the ideas that I'm having.

Independence for Catalunya

As yesterday was the the "national day" of Catalunya, the National Assembly of Catalunya organized a human chain to show their support for the independence of Catalunya. Many people went out to make this human chain, and it seems that it was a success. I didn't participate, as I don't believe that it will do much. If Catalunya wants to be independent from Spain, I think it should just hold elections that ALL people residing in Catalunya can vote and decide if it should be independent or not. Also it should be clear the consequences of such action, not just what the politics say, but the reality of the situation, as there are many things that will change. The politicians will sell anything to get the vote and get their way, but it seems that generally there is a lack of information from the institutes, they seem to be quiet and guarding their opinion or taking sides instead of saying clearing what the pros and cons are going to be of such an action. At least that is the information flow that is available here. If you want a more out of the box information without being biased, you have to look for sources outside Spain or Europe. We'll see how it goes with all this independence shouts and stuff.

Android vs. Windows Phone

Since the introduction of smart phones, I've mostly stuck to Android operating system. But recently I've been having problems with the Android system, mostly due to the number of apps on the phone.

 

A couple of months ago, I got a Nokia Lumia 920 (Windows operating system), I didn't use it much until last week. Last weekend, I was driving up North with the family, when my mother decided that she wanted to go to the Roca Village. So I pulled over at the first petrol station and tried to use Google Maps on the Android phone to try and get my bearings and direction to go to the Roca Village - I had some doubts that we were more North, but I wanted to make sure how far up we were. After trying to several times trying to get the Google Map app to work properly (it kept crashing and the phone kept freezing), I got tired and fed up. I remembered that I had the Lumia 920 and decided to give it a go. The navigator app worked properly and the time that it took me to get the car started and around, we were on our way to the Roca Village - which turned out to be closed, as it was Sunday.

I think one of the reasons for that is that I have a lot of apps on the Android phone, not to mention that they keep restarting even after I turn them off. But on the Windows phone, it seems that the apps are closed until I restart them to check on them, so that's a good thing as I don't want Facebook to use up all my data and always be connected. Also since I use the apps on my Android phone, I don't need to have the same apps on the Windows phone (although, Youtube seems not to be working properly on the Windows phone... still investigating/testing).

I do have to update my Android phone, but at this moment, I don't really feel like it, as the phone works properly enough and in case something happens I can just use the Windows phone.

It's late now and I can't figure if there is anything else I want to say or if I'm just too tired that my brain doesn't want to function any more. So that is all for now...

Heart of A Traveller - Scotland.

After working so many days together, finally have some days off. Although I'd love to go somewhere, I have so many things to do that these four days, I'm most likely to stay close to home.

Since I can't travel anywhere, the television has decided to take me sightseeing for the future. As usual there was nothing good on television, until a documentary started about Scotland - Scotland Revealed. It's a nice documentary about Scotland where they give you just enough information so that you know what they are talking about but at the same time they keep enough information, making you want to go there. It's presented by a geologist (note: one of my favourite subjects is geography), and apart from the history, she talks about the geography of the terrain as well. After seeing all the beautiful landscape and listening to the history, the only thing left to do is to actually go there!

And this year, I might just do that. I have a good friend who lives there. This way I can actually visit her and see one part of the world which I find very interesting.

[Eilean Donan Castle, Scotland]

I've always found history interesting and the rich, yet bloody, history of the English Isles is one of my favourites. This includes Scottish and Irish history as well. As many places in the world, with rich history, Scotland is no exception. Full of castles, lochs, mountains, history and nature... it just moved into one of the places that I have to go to (if you're wondering which other places are, you have a small list on the bottom left ;) ).

There are so many places in Scotland that I'd like to go to, that I don't think I'll be able to see them all in one stay. I just hope I don't forget my camera...

... at this very moment, that I'm writing this - I'm watching the documentary and Scotland just moved up to the second place that I most want to visit. Going to have to make a list with my friend of places to see!!! Can't wait >_<

Deadshift Chronicles #6

So apparently there is a saying that goes like this: "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade", well to that I say: "Fuck you! Give me an apple you bastard!!".

So with which topic should I start this Deadshift Chronicle? The one about people being stupid or the one that we shouldn't just accept things as they are? Or should I talk about why everybody should get a penguin?

~ Fuck lemons ~

Okay, so apparently the saying is to encourage optimism or whatever you wish to call it. I just think that apart from seeing the positive side of life, one should also try and reach/achieve their dreams (always depending on what you're dreaming for... I mean if you wan to kill all mankind - good luck with that, but if you want to just rape and kill - you should sign yourself to a psych ward before I get my hands on you).

It is quite hard nowadays to achieve your dreams depending on what it is, but I don't think it is impossible. But from all the things that we go through life, what is your true dream? You can dream something big, like conquering the world and that's a good challenge and I say good luck with that. But what about the small dreams? Like getting a car, having a family, going on that vacation that you've been waiting for for so long or finally getting the job that you wanted? There are things that we take for granted just because circumstances have brought it about and it has been easy that we've never even noticed it. Using as myself as an example: I've achieved one of my small dreams of getting my driver's license and hopefully later on in this year, I'll get my first car. What about my big dream? That someday I'd like to have my own business? Well, I haven't achieved it yet, but I've been moving in that direction (somewhat slowly but at smooth rate - although I believe that I should speed up things a little bit). I do have a fixed job at the moment and it is a good job and something that I like. So am I in that bad of a situation? The answer is no quite. As I'm achieving some of my dreams while working to achieve my big ones. I believe that is the best way to go through life. So if life gives you a lemon, you can go and make lemonade, but why should you? Why should you just be happy with what is given to you? You should not only accept what you have but also try to earn/achieve what you want. Got a crappy job? Don't quit before getting a better deal! And how sure are you of what you want? It's always good to have priorities and dreams, just make sure that after a year, do you still want those dreams or want to give those things high priorities? Recheck what you want to make sure that you get what you want ;)

~ Stupid people ~

The level of human stupidity can really surprise you. Especially when you think that you know a person and believe that this person would never do something that stupid. Well, in my case, the person did it twice. And not only that but believes that forcing situation, will get what she wants. Frankly, I'm not totally sure that I want to be friends with people who do such stupid things, and not once but twice. Okay, you might think that I'm being an ass and that I should respect my friend's decision, but seeing where this might be going and what the situation is, I think you'll agree with me. (Sadly, I'm sworn to secrecy and can't disclose the situation). If you have friends and they are giving you an advice that you're about to do something stupid and yet you still do it, I believe that your friends should respect you and be there for you when "the shit hits the fan". But I also believe that you should at least respect your friendship with them and listen to what they have to say and not act as if you're listening to later just do whatever it is that you want to do. Last year, I had this problem with some friends. They thought I was doing something stupid, I knew that I was doing something stupid, and I told them that I respect and hear what they are saying but I've made the decision to go on with this thing. Well, had a major fall out with some of them, because they kept insisting instead of respecting my decision. On the other hand, it sort of proved who my real friends were, as my real friends accepted my decision for doing something stupid and "the shit to hit the fan" - in this case it didn't quite hit the fan... I don't hold a grudge against them for trying to look out for me. The thing is that I heard what they had to say, I understood what they were saying and based on all that and what the situation was, I made the decision to do something... although it was stupid. But when someone does that same thing twice... and it's not like getting back with your ex, but more like, getting involved with someone who is already in a relationship with some else and you're the third wheel. Well, if you do it once... ok, no biggie... I mean it's your life... when you do it again with the same person and you know that that person isn't going to leave the other person... and you know that it's going to end bad... well, that's just plain fucking stupid and you should get smacked on the back of your head for that!!! And the part of almost wanting to break friendship... well, that comes from that you only get in touch when you get hurt by this other person and need a shoulder to cry on only to later jump back into the same situation. To that I say: what the fuck dude?!

~ Penguins ~

Penguins, do I really have to explain why having penguin is cool? Really?

 

[The "you want a piece of this" penguin Mafia]

Problems and shit that doesn't make sense.

The world is not a shitty place to live in, it's the other humans that make it a shitty place to live in.

~ Everybody at some point in their lifetimes... hopefully.

So last night was the final of the FIFA Confederations Cup, Brazil versus Spain. Spain suffered a humiliating defeat - considering that they are the standing World Cup holders. But as most know from watching the news, Brazil is a rich country, with it's culture, art and what not, but there are still quite some poverty there. That is why there has been riots and demonstrations these last couple of weeks about the price of public transport. It makes you wonder how much money one can get for organizing an event of such a scale, not to mention future events like the World Cup and Olympics.

Recently, I've found my self thinking on many events organized or held by cities, where main streets are closed off or special security details are needed. Most of that is paid by the people who live in the city or country. I'm not going to brag or whine about why politicians are stealing or as they put it "conserving" money, because we all end up talking about it over coffee or a beer with friends. It's an old topic. My point is why aren't we standing up to them? I mean when there was a feudal system or monarchy that crossed the line, we stood up against them - you have from revolutions to civil wars to wars of independence! So why are we still swallowing this load of bullshit? In Spain, we have a president of the government who has lost like twice before becoming the president, not to mention that most of he's political party is under investigation for corruption! Do I have to talk about the cuts in Sanitation, Education and other departments? Not to mention reductions in salary or how it is easier for a company to fire someone now? You see in the news that things are going bad for a country, and sometimes you don't even know how bad things are because most of it is covered under a pile of bullshit that keeps rising.

Oh, I haven't forgotten about the broken promises that are made daily, that they will do this or that to save or help the people. They only get involved when the shit hits the fan, and only then. I mean, apparently the Germans are now a bit angry with the US because of all this spy crap that is popping up now, but how much of this did they already know? Or even they allowed? It's like when your wife makes a pie and your kid wants some. You let your kid have a piece saying that you won't tell your mum anything if he gives you some. And if he gets caught, that's he's problem. Yes, I believe politics is like little children bickering and bitching about things that should be simple and are always using: if I give you this, what do I get in return.

I'm tired of this subject as a whole, so for now just going to leave it as it is...

Deadshift Chronicles #5

Today is St John's day or better said night here in Barcelona. This means basically: beer, beach and bonfires... not to mention fireworks all over the city. It's a nice tradition that it is celebrated here in Barcelona, (although we could do without the over-drunk people in the streets).

I'm back here on the deadshift again. Not much to do but listen to music and try to keep awake. Brought some books to keep me company but don't feel like reading. At least, I have tomorrow off, which I plan to spend sleeping most of the day. And maybe do a bit of self learning.

Going to rewrite the first chapters of my book, to be more precise: edit, remove and add more things that have occurred to me over the past couple of days.

That reminds me that I have to set up my desktop. If I can make some room in my room. Cleaned it but things have been accumulating there again... and that is getting annoying. So not sure which one I want to do first... something to figure out when I wake up in the morning.

Back on the deadshift

Well, I'm back on the deadshift. After almost 4-5 months? Don't remember, but it's been awhile. Not that I missed it much, but it is nice to be able to sleep in your own bed and not have to crawl into bed when the sun is coming out.

The bad thing isn't that I'm on the deadshift, it's that I'm without transport. My scooter got messed up and after getting it fixed, there seems to be some connection problem between the engine and the petrol getting there. So that's in the garage to get fixed, so I'll have to take public transport, which I'm not a big fan of. Yes, you can argue that it's a more eco-friendly way of moving around, but I'm not a crowd person and not to mention that there are way too many retards walking around freely on this planet.

Anyvay, since I'm on the deadshift, I've thought of posting a new post and also put a cool photo of Barcelona in the night time. I could get one of the photos that I took last year, but they are on my home PC.

Well, I'm going to be a bit busy these days with some personal things that I want to get done before the end of the month, and not to mention still trying to get my driver's license (which for the moment seems to be determined to evade me... we'll see for how long). Also another thing that I'm trying to do is recollect all the information necessary and I've already started to move events forward so that I can open my hostel in the next 6 years... max. That's the amount of time I'm giving myself to actually open it. Hopefully it won't take that long for me to get things fixed to be able to open it. I still have the issue of where I'm going to get most of the funding but I'm not worried about that at this very moment, I'll deal with that when the time comes.

Something that I did realize the past week is that most of my plans have been put on pause because of the driver's license issue. And since that seems to be evading me a bit longer, I'm reactivating the other projects, like I said the planning for the hostel and also the novel that I'm writing. I'm still waiting to hear back from a friend, if she will edit the novel for me when I finish writing it and before I send off to a publisher. I've got more parts of the book thought out, and hopefully have them put in text during these deadshifts.

Well, since on this side of the world, everyone is sleeping... night night!

Entry 15052013 // Back to class...

This last week has been quite a busy week. To start off, last Thursday, I had my driving exam (the practical) which I failed. But not because I didn't know but because I wasn't concentrating on the actual driving. I was distracted by other things that were going on in my life and therefore wasn't able to concentrate properly on the actual exam. (I wonder how many exams I have failed like this in my life?)

On Saturday, it was my birthday. Was supposed to be a good day for me, but waking up at 5 in the morning to go to work isn't a good start in my book. With the addition that I failed my exam on Thursday and that I would've liked to spend my birthday with some close friends (couldn't as they live far away), I was feeling a bit down the whole weekend.

Monday 13th, started my Crafting an Effective Writer course. Hopefully that will make me a better writer and I'll be able to write the books that I have in mind to write and finish. Not to mention, get them published.

Yesterday, we had quite some number of Polish clients coming to the hotel, which also got me thinking if I should really start learning Polish. I mean, I have friends who are Polish and have been saying and thinking about learning the language - maybe I should give that some more thought... maybe start it over the weekend. (Going to check how much some courses can be - could learn Russian, but Polish seems more fun).

On Friday, will have another go at my driver's exam. And this time, if nothing goes wrong, I'm pretty sure that I'll pass. And that will officially start the countdown for me getting a car. I have some ideas as to what kind of car I want. I mean, there are some really nice ones that I'd like to have but are out of my economic range at this moment. (Like the car in the picture: Nissan Skyline 2000 GTR).

Well, I think my course video has loaded, so I will be going back to that. Will post updates soon. Ciao or as they say in polish: pozegnanie!

Entry 04052013

It might seem from some of my recent posts that I am becoming an animal lover. Truth be told, I have always liked animals. But recently, thanks to a close and dear friend, I have become more aware of the sad reality and also the shocking and disgusting methods some humans use to kill animals, from injuring them so that they are unable to defend themselves to burning them alive.

One of my fears, which I have had from the first time that I've been to the zoo and saw lions and

tigers in captivity, is to be a captive like them. And although you can say that I am free to do what I want, I am still restrained by social and cultural laws and rules, but mainly by the most powerful and ugly reality... money. It is the one thing that we have invented we has backfired on us. It is the basis of the greed that exists in this world and without it, you cannot do anything.

Anyvay, my point is: I always liked animals and still do. And if it were up to me, unnecessary killings would be stopped and illegal and with severe sanctions and punishments.

Entry 03052013 // Our heritage.

We live in a world where we fantasize about dragons, unicorns and other mythical and legendary creatures. But we forget that there are still majestic, beautiful and incredible creatures on this planet that we live on. But sadly there are those among us who would hunt these creatures for different reasons, one of these, the most sad and pathetic being money.


One of the major flaws of being human, which is also what separates us from other living creatures, is our ability to think (or so they say... a gift as well as a curse). Sadly we just think of ourselves. Because of this some of us prefer to live in greed while others prefer to live in ignorance. And although there are those who fight and try to save animals, there are those who would hunt them till extinction for their own benefit.

A list could be made of the reasons and excuses while another of animals that are extinct or on the verge of extinction, but that is not the point of this post. The reason of this post is because is most of us wish to have a dragon or see unicorns or a real sphinx, that we take for granted the creatures that are still alive. But the sad truth is that although most of do not realize this, but if things continue this way, some of these animals are going to be extinct, such as elephants, tigers and whales and more... it is not about whether we should eat meat or not. But between hunting, exploitation and natural diseases many animal species are on the brink of being added to the extinction list or just available to see in the zoo. 

It is understandable that ivory is a rare material but killing to the brink of extinction animals such as rhinos or elephants? Killing tigers and seals for their fur/skin? Overfishing in the oceans? Shark for fins? It is important to note that some animals are making a comeback like American Bison or foxes in the United Kingdom. But it is more important to know that there is an exploitation of other animals in other parts of the world, and that many are being hunted and killed for some things that can be lived without. Also to be taken into account that some governments are taking measures into protecting animals but on the other side are not doing anything to stop the killing of others (example: China protecting Pandas yet has not done much to stop ivory trade). There should be more support, not only national but also international, to protect these animals. Animals such as tigers, lions and others have been hunted and killed for "invading" human territory when the truth is that it is the humans who have invaded animal territory. First it was to protect human interests like cattle, but now it's just for fur or other materials which aren't necessary for the day to day living.

I believe that both humans and animals can live together in harmony (I know it sounds clichéd but why not?). If we are better/superior than them, should we not be able to come up with a way to not kill/exterminate other species? I am not saying that the world should become vegetarian but I believe we could do without ivory or fur, have more controlled fishing policies etc. We have the power, we have the technology. What we lack is the will to get it done. And just because some people wish to sell their heritage for greed, does not mean that we should take advantage or allow them to exploit this heritage. We live in a global world, with multinationals and global marketing, therefore it is no longer just their heritage but OUR HERITAGE. And we deserve to see that this abuse is stopped, not only so that we can enjoy the beauty/majesty of these wonderful creatures but future generations too.

Entry 30042013 // Life...

Had a very nice vacation. I think it would have been the best if it hadn't ended. But all good things come to an end, but the best thing about the future is that you never know what will happen and there is a chance that better things will happen. Tomorrow I'll be going to back to work, on one side that is good, because I'll have something to do but on the other hand, I don't feel like going back to work. I miss my friend who was here passing her vacation as well. It would've been better if it didn't rain and it wasn't this friggin' cold but we had fun! Can't wait for the next time we meet each other again.

Update on my driver's license: on the 9th of May, I'll take the exam, and hopefully pass it, which would be a great birthday gift as my birthday is 2 days later. Asked my better half what colour car I should try and get, and the answer was red... which I thought so too. So will have to check on that one if I can actually get a car. Other than that, I've also asked to have my name written down for the motorcycle license (A2), which I'll be doing after I pass my driver's exam.

On other news, I miss my little girl Solio. Haven't had news about her in a while and checked The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust website, but there hasn't been any new news about her. Wonder what she's been up to? ô.o 

Also started to write "Knight Falls", a book which I've wanted to write for like over a decade. Thanks to my better half pressuring me to write it, hopefully I'll have the first draft done before summer. Have appointed the 11th of September as the deadline to finish writing the first draft, before I send it to my "editor" for proofreading and other editorial stuff that she knows how to do. Hopefully she won't charge me too much for the job.

Anyvay, that's all for now.

Till I see you again

You turned one last time before you walked away

The look you gave me

Tore a small part of me

You smiled

And I wanted to call your name

And make you stay

We just looked at each other

I'd stop time if I could

But I knew that this wasn't farewell

You told me to come a visit

I promised I will

You smiled and turned away

I walked closer to the barrier

You got stuck in stupid human traffic

And we both smiled at each other

Saying the same thing in our mind

Remembered the moments when we jinxed each other

Now here I sit

Looking at the time

Waiting for the next time we'll meet again

Maybe it will be by the beach

With the night sky as a blanket

And the stars as the only witness

As we sip our beers and talk about everything and nothing

Or maybe it will by the fireplace, sipping on red wine

And watch her chase an aluminium ball

 I'll wait till then

Till we meet again

Smiling and playing our little games

Till I see you again.

Poem without title

The moon is bright in the night sky
As I watch the shadows dance to the rhythm
Of the flickering candle light
Staring into the small flame
Mesmerized by it's seducing dance
Nothing except the darkness and the light
With shadows dancing at the edges of my sight
Losing myself and my mind
I forget the pain
And embrace the flame
To be rise again
As the phoenix rising again
I look back to see shadows waving good bye
As I fly into the night sky
With the bright white moon's light
I fly higher and higher
With wings of flame
Soaring through a beautiful night
With sleeping cities and calm seas

Entry 29032013 · Das Bunker!

Today was a fun day. I went on a excursion with my friends to the anti-air bunker on top of the Turó de la Rovira, in the Carmel district of Barcelona. We had a fun day of laughs and picture taking.

We started a little later then we expected (and almost got lost),  but in the end we made our way to the top of the hill. The girls had fun taking like a zillion photos, jumping posing and all the usual things that one does when they get a camera and a free pass to snap about. I quite enjoyed the trip as we laughed and had fun taking pictures. Here are some of the pictures that we took: 

There wasn't cannons or anti-air guns. But the view of all of Barcelona was beautiful. You can't go inside the bunker installations but that didn't matter that much. Later we went to have some drinks and ended up having lunch, which was good because we were almost exhausted from all the photos and laughing and fun :)

Deadshift Chronicles #3

Welcome back to another issue of the deadshift chronicles (please note the sarcasm). Well, it's the last night shift of the month and for the time being as well. Not much happened these last couple of nights of any interest... the hotel is almost empty as it's not tourist season yet, although I believe that those in the higher circles are worried because they aren't raking in money as they did a decade ago.

The economic crisis is still something I keep a lazy eye on, although there isn't much to do, as one person can't make a difference in this society and with this culture that we live in. I'm not going to get into the politics of the issues of what's happening in Europe recently as any one who watches the news can say that things are getting more and more fucked up.

Going to be over a week till I have another driving practical as it is Easter holiday here in Spain. I'd really like to get my hands on a car and practice more. But every day it gets a bit more difficult. For now I'm trying to cut down on my hobbies until I can get enough of the practical lessons to be able to do and pass the exam which depends on how things go, might happen sometime at the end of April or mid-May. And depending if I have a job or not, (many of my friends say that since it will be tourist season again, that I will have a job,) I'm going to see if I can buy a car or not. Some of my friends have suggested buying a new car as it will be easier to handle, guarantee issues etc. Even my driving instructor said that it was a better idea to get a new car. But economy plays a lot as well, so it depends if I can afford new car or not. There will be more on that later.

I am a bit worried that I am getting more and more eco-wary. In other words, a bit hippy ¬¬ I'm blaming a very good friend of mine for this! But the thing is that I'm a bit more of radical, in-your-face kind of person, so mix that with something I strongly believe with and you have a good idea of what the result might be (some of it, you've gotten from my last entry). Well, somebody has to think straight or get the job done, right?

Entry 23032013 - Elephant vs. Man vs. Man

There is a high number of elephants being killed every year, too high a number. And the only reason being the small, exclusive and illegal ivory market. There are organizations holding conferences to "fight" for the prohibition (of something which has been illegal, although not in all countries,) of this activity.

I have a clear opinion on the theme, I'm against killing any animal for just a part of the creature. It's not like a cow which is farmed and then slaughtered for it's meat, in which case practically all of the cow is consumed - yes, I'm a meat eater and I'm against the stupid reason of farming elephants for ivory as much as farming tigers or bears for their skin. And considering the technological advance that we have, I think it's possible to clone ivory or even come up with a synthetic substitute (which I believe already exists.

I mostly blame the world, meaning the society that we live in, where greed and money have more power than solidarity and caring. Okay, there is some caring... for oneself. Since it's prohibition, the price of ivory has gone up... and so has poaching. Recently, I've read an article in the newspaper stating that in Barcelona, poachers sell their illegally obtained ivory which is "washed" to look as if it is old ivory to auction houses which don't require a CITES certificate and then sell the said ivory to a buyer with a proof of purchase (usually of Asian origin), who then goes to China where he/she can sell it to any tourist who wants to buy it. The thing is that there is a big market in Eastern Asia for these items. But there is also a problem, anyone buying ivory there and comes back to Europe and can't provide a CITES certificate is in trouble.

The said thing is that there are countries that are too poor to support the prohibition on this mass butchering of elephants and rhinos. The problem being that they don't get or get little support from other countries. And it's not only that, but the people in these countries have other problems which can be easily solved but due to political interests are still further abused or prolonged without reason.

What I've come up with is hunt the hunters. Yes, killing a fellow human is considered murder, but isn't killing a fellow living thing just for it's tusk or horn as well? I for one, when I have  children, I will take them to Africa to see elephants and rhinos for real, and hope that they can do the same with their children.

Deadshift Chronicles #2

Well, another deadshift, another deadshift chronicle.

Last night could've been counted as a bit entertaining if I was able to give a fuck, but since I wasn't, well, you're smart you get the point. Crazy shit happen at hotel receptions that people don't believe or expect to happen. Last night, two guests (member's of a VIP guest in the hotel) walk in drunk from the hotel restaurant. Apparently one of them "had" a chance to pick up a girl but the other guy ruined it. I was busy trying to not fall a sleep and thinking of ways to figure out what to do since I left my books/mangas at home. So after a small argument, which I don't remember what one said to the other, one of them pulls his penis out and starts shouting: "I could get any girl I want with this".

If they weren't family of this VIP guest, they'd be having what is left of the conversation in the police station or outside in the street as I was in no mood for stupidity (there is already way too much of it in this world). Some how the other got offended as it seems the drunker guy said something insulting about the religion of the other. This brought with it, the drunker guy saying that he loves the other one and that he'd never say something like that bla bla bla...

... basically over a little more than an hour of live stupidity in the hotel reception, while I was thinking about if they'd go away and there be some silence.

It's sort of official that I have a cold, but I'm nursing it so I don't think it's that bad... I am a survivor so a little cold won't stop me. Other than that, tonight, I did bring my books (read through one as if it were just a piece of paper).

Also read a short story of a friend, that made me think... on things that I don't wish to think. It's her first short story, and if it made me think, that means it's pretty good. We'll see if at some point I write one of my own. Let's wait and see if I last the night... 

Deadshift Chronicles #1

Well, I'm back doing the deadshift again... after like almost 2 months approximately... and I already know it is going to be a long night.

First, because I forgot my manga books I bought today at home - not to mention the book I was already reading. Second, the internet here at the hotel reception pretty much sucks and is slow as hell. Third, already had a couple arriving at the hotel with a reservation which was cancelled and according to them it wasn't cancelled by them... so basically the hotel cancelled your reservation because we think you are stupid? According to them the hotel cancelled it so that they have to pay more up on arriving and finding out that there reservation was cancelled (should've told them to go and find another hotel... of course then I'd get crap from my superiors for "kicking out" clients). Either way, problem solved everyone is sort of happy and I couldn't care less.

I think I'm also coming down with a cold. My throat feels a bit funny and my nose is itching... I guess my small ritual did work (top secret can't divulge more information on the ritual). Hope I remember to take some medication before I go to sleep when I get home.

So far the night seems to be going without much incident... (damn, just remembered that I could've at least brought the Nintendo 3DS ¬¬ )

Anyway, the only thing that I don't want to do is think, somehow I end up doing that quite a bit these days and don't really want to do that now. It's hard not to when you have the whole night ahead of you (it's 01:16 at this moment) so a little less than 6 hours left to sit here and try and not think. This should be quite interesting... I'll probably end up watching old episodes of some series or trying to figure out how to fix the economic crisis...

Entry 18032013

This Saturday I made a chocolate cake, it was my first time and it was edible so that's a good thing. Had some friends over for some tea and cake. After that we went out to walk and have dinner. Driving update: They changed my car with which in was learning, but getting the hang of driving. I have to practice more... or take advantage of the classes.

Entry 12032013

Last week I passed my theory exam for my driver's license.  Pretty proud of myself as I really did it all by myself. Yesterday, had my first practical class (1 hour). Realized that need to get more used to driving a car... it's not the same as driving a scooter. Today was my second class (also 1 hour) and it was sort of fun, I realized that I have to get used to more things... changing gear, clutch and brake etc etc.
 

 

[Today's route]

Yesterday, I got the new Tomb Raider (Xbox 360), and I like it, it's been a while since I've played an adventure/puzzle game, this one makes the top ten for me. Good graphics and a good storyline. I haven't yet tried the multiplayer, but the single player is quite awesome. The storyline keeps you on the edge as you don't know what will happen turning the next corner. But it's fun and entertaining which can't be said for most games, as they follow a straight line and you know what there is around the next corner or it's so long that you just can't give a fuck of what is going to happen next.

A game I'd recommend to anyone who likes adventure/puzzle games. Did I mention that it has Lara Croft :P